I am getting used to this two steps forward, four steps back thing WRT writing this book now.
I get a burst of incentive. Then nothing for weeks. During these weeks, I meander aimlessly through what I already have down on paper. And while in the beginning I was so sure of my intent and what I was doing this for, now all I see is me looking like I'm complaining about everything.
I'm not! I'm SOOOO not. But it seems so.... so, I dunno, terribly self-indulgent. I need focus. I need a slap in the head.
I've read snippets of passages and gone "Geez, this thing is writing itself". But then others where I've obviously just been reliving too much - it's too bogged down in sadness or something - and it just doesn't feel right.
How will I ever strike the balance? I'm not in the doldrums all the time. But I'm not chipper 24/7 either by any stretch. I thought I was going to be able to present a really frank yet uplifting view of how my life has been enriched. Perhaps it's the first person bit. I think I am mighty uncomfortable writing in first person, as if it's .... oh help, here are those words all strung together .... "all about me". That is not, and never has been with this book, my intention.
I won't finish the damn thing and it'll never see the light of day despite all the work that's gone into it so far, not just by me but my Trusty Toypist Extraordinnaire *hair flick*, if for one second I believe it's coming across as little old me just doing her narna for 200-something pages. My aim is for it to have meaning, enlightening moments - where I've been hit square between the eyes with the good, the bad and the putrid, I want to share that. I feel a sense of duty to, more's the point, in case it might bring not only comfort to kindred parents but also broadening of understanding for the wider spectrum.
Of course, it doesn't help that I've tentatively, almost apologetically, admitted to a couple of people in person that I am doing this. The reaction has been somewhat patronising, I must say. It doesn't give me confidence. Then again, I can see where this is coming from. My true friends are really sticking to their guns and urging me on it, so it just makes the other naysayers really stand out actually. Still......... my nature being what it is, I am very timid about making such a bold claim as "I am writing a book about our journey". Ugh. It sounds almost precocious. And I'm losing my drive on it because I feel like I'm floundering in self-something-or-other. Instead of just bloody well getting on with it.
I. Don't. Know. I feel like I am, if not wasting my time then certainly, wallowing in my own dung somewhat. I need a swift bit o' straight talk. Time for the wagons to circle *rolls up sleeves and looks pointedly*
Anybody in The Know, preferably with editing skills who can give me some pointers on what to do with the Juggernaut, are more than welcome to email me (if you don't care to post a message here) to partake in the booting. Or coaching. Or even pom-pom rustling. Gimme a ...
Whatever.
3 comments:
Give me a "K". ROFL
With all my worldly experience in writing, yeah right, I can only say it is very hard to be "proud" of your own work. I had a good friend in USA read my drafts and "help" out. You do need someone who can be frank so that you are confident that they're not sugar-coating for you.
I think with your book it will be a little more difficult to find that honesty because of the topic IYKWIM?
I have no doubt, however, that it will be an awesome book about an incredible journey. Your writing is so honest and sincere.
And isn't it the worst when you feel like you have to play down what you're doing, like it's not important, for fear of being taken down a peg or two. Surround yourself with people who build you up and don't let the naysayers get to you on this one, pleeeease.
Okay back to my pom pom rustling. Who'd have thought it was such great exercise. Mwahahahaha!
PS. There is also a company where you can get someone to help with your project. Might be just what you need to help out with some of the editing. Lemme know if you want their details. With no experience in writing, that's how I got mine done.
I come here, I read and I often laugh. But today I read this and I thought "nooooo!!" when it sounded like you might be chucking it in! I can only imagine that it is really hard to see the big picture when you are bogged down in minute details and struggling from sentence to sentence. Take a couple of steps back. Remember your original purpose, your inspiration(s) and your muse. Your reasons for doing this and your eventual audience.
**SLAP** (you asked for that..)And remember those pompom wavers, like me, who are cheering madly from the sidelines...we are on the sidelines but not so far away that we can't listen, hear and bounce ideas off and back to you.
Maybe you should think of not as doing this for you, cause gawd knows there are plenty of forums for you to sort through your own stuff, but you are doing it for E, in her honour and all that she has given and taught you. And for all the parents of the E's and K's and others out there that will benefit immensely from your amazing and touching words.
NOW get back out there, and WRITE!!
Ditto to the other comments.
You just have to keep writing, then have it proof read, then edited, then typed by La Stupendous, then published. Quite simple Kiki really. And furthermore, YOU CAN DO IT!!!!!!!!
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