The tide is actually going out I think, I'm most relieved to say.
I can now actually put my arms flat by my side for the first time in three weeks after what's been a most alarming internal king wave of fluid retention. One night, I go to bed with sizeable (like extra side boobs, sizeable) deposits of flesh under my pits.... oh I'm such a lady.... and then, the next morning, I wake and rise from bed feeling positively urchin-like in all my water recededness.
That was on Tuesday. Since then, to today, things that are righting themselves include:
• my decolletage (oh how I've missed your boney protudiness.... useless bit of info: the left point of my collarbone at my windpipe sticks out further than the right and makes all necklaces sit funny around my neck)
• my hip shape - but I do admit, there is still a rubberducky life preserver around my waist that undulates like a waterbed when I make the slightest move, so while my lower body is getting back to normal size, my midriff has got some notable catching up to do.
• my undies therefore fit, so my caboose must be smaller again too. However, the ever so delightful modern term "muffin top" in my case would be more like "souffle top".
And all this by doing nothing more than ensuring my usual umpteen visits to Gloria per week (it is NOT an obsession) and taking the right potency of those little sugary pills prescribed by the homeopath who scared the water out of me. Yes.... *sheepish* I am still under his care. We have an understanding now: we speak on the phone so I can't misread his body language and he can't second guess mine and hey, presto! The arrangement appears to be working well.
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