If you ever wanted to know whether earwigs carry an electrical charge but have never been bothered to find out, never fear. I have carried out the experiment unwittingly for you!
Rang Steve today.
Him: Yello
Me: *starting sentence midstream* Yeah hi, Lenny, ummmm you know how some plugs have two prongs and the bottom one isn't used?
Him: *cogs whirring into high-speed "She's doing that thing* again" mode* Uhhhh... yyyyuh...
Me: Well, what if there's an earwig in the bottom one?
Him: That's ok, the bottom outlet of an electrical socket is earthed. It won't do anything.
Me: It won't kill him? He won't short anything out?
Him: No. But stand back, though, so when he comes flying out - burning - he won't land on you.
Me: WHAT???
Him: It's. Fine. What's an earwig doing in there anyway?
Me: *beats me tone* I dunno. *then defensively* I didn't put it there. He just decided to crawl in I guess.
Him: *making the painstaking decision to tear himself away from this riveting phone call* Is that all?
See what he has to put up with? But I don't think he minds. I make his life so interesting.
* That Thing: where one Lenny of the duo - that's me - speaks as if the other Lenny - that's him - knows what she's on about and the other Lenny is forced to fill in blanks faster than an Enigma machine during the Blitzkrieg, in order to keep up with the conversation and decipher what the hell she's on about.
No comments:
Post a Comment