I think it's a family thing, but I am unsure if there is another 16 week-old out there with as many names as our girl. If I could just do a quick brainstorm for counting purposes, so far we have:
Lolly
Little Lolly XX (surname tacked on the end there)
Guy Smiley (a personal fave, Steve calls her this when she's very smiley...which is pretty often)
Sweet Sweet
Tweet Tweet
or the mind-boggling variation, Sweet Sweet the Tweet Tweet
Little Girl
Sweetpea
and then any naming word that matches the action she's currently doing, and just adding a y (like, Stampy - Bart Simpson's elephant, just a bit o' trivia for you - when she stamps her foot, or Whingey when she's... well, whinging obviously)
Is it wrong? Is it bad? Is it confusing? Probably.
Is it fun? Is it accidental? Is it insane? Hell yeah!
Friday, November 24, 2006
Wednesday, November 22, 2006
First footwear
*swoons with giddy glee at sheer cuteness of it all, picks self up,
remembers those feet belong to her baby, faints again*
remembers those feet belong to her baby, faints again*
Tuesday, November 21, 2006
Sleep! Lashings of sleep...
I have a book full of theory only because I haven't had to settle L overnight since the night before we went to the MBU.
What I did learn was that my dear girl not feeding, therefore not sleeping properly, was almost solely directly related to my working and getting stressed and rushing, etc. Not to mention ridiculous other issues. The entire week I was there, I don't think I sped up much more than a saunter, we had 3 full meals a day and snacks in between (and I lost another 1kg despite of this, gosh darn), and Lolly certainly showed me up in terms of how worked up I obviously was. The nurses even said to me that I was already doing what they teach in there, so that leaves me with very few reasons as to why it wasn't working (namely, I wasn't feeding her enough during the day - oops! - and I was doing a bad job of hiding my anxiety about family/work). And to think I thought I could sidle on past the LGBB with a plastered-on smile and an over-rambunctious "Gooooooood mornin', Lolleeeeee!"
They now call it "responsive settling", by the way. I have my own method. I know what her full blown cry is. I also know how long it takes her to get there, having accidentally not been within earshot once or twice and come back to find the grizzles I'd walked away from had become "I'M MELTING, I'M MELTING! WHADDA WORLD, WHADDA WORLD" kind of horror-wailings.
All of this is not to say it's not all my "fault" of course, this previous pattern of night waking. Ho, no, I shan't be taking on all the blame thank-ewe very much *hair flick* But we really have ironed things out. I now have a flexible yet definite routine, which is working much better for me than the peace, love and tie-dyed harmony method of demand feeding (Lolly's not too good at counting how many hours are in a day and I mistakenly thought I should just be lopping them out on every whim of hers.... but she also can't count how many feeds she has in any given day and it turns out, given that I wasn't counting them either and had no idea, the wee sprite was not having enough). She actually lost 2oog between first and second weigh-ins, between lunchtime first day and breakfast next morning, dear Lord.... She thankfully recorded small gains every day after that. But just quietly *she says, checking behind her* I'm hopeful this is indicative of her father's speedy metabolism. So she can eat cake, mmm love a bit o' cake, and not feel too guilty.
So we've added one more feed to her day (which equates to a whole extra day over a week) and I'm massaging her nightly now which I'd become slack about. She's almost unconscious by the time we get her into bed. And we try to aim for 7pm bedtime since we came home but so far she only makes it to about 6.45pm. I then do her rollover/dream feed just before I go to bed (a very respectable 9.30 as opposed to the 10.30pm I was stupidly waiting up for every night) and we don't hear from her til after 7am every morning. This has now been her pattern for a whole week I'm relieved to say.
I got no more sleep than what I had been over the past few months in hospital though, despite this (woke every couple of hours and so did poor Steve here at home, such was his body clock remembering). But now we've both settled into much better nights' sleeps since Saturday.
I have to say, my biggest fears of having to a) lose the dummy and b) leaving her to cry (which she did do on occasion, about 3 to be exact - I can't believe I can count all the resettling we did on one hand, oh my GOD!) were not realised, as the nurses really worked with me and more importantly, within what I felt comfortable with. There were no holds barred, don't get me wrong, but I was given the straightest-shooting nurses with hard-hitting questions that got right to the heart of matters and left nothing to hide behind. It was soul food.
You know what I had the biggest issue with? After the first night, I realised it was the first time I hadn't seen her - breathing, alive, ok while she slept - on our video monitor. The parents' cheat tool! And I needed a lot of support opening that door on the first morning, I tell you. My knees were shaky, I just felt sick at the thought of (whatever, I won't go into it). But of course she was fine.
The new routine has been sorely tested today and on Saturday (when she didn't sleep for over 6hrs because we went out to a friends' 40th) but we followed the routine set by the MBU to a T - amongst which is the wise "don't worry about the past, just keep planning for the future" - and then today I was very tetchy because it was soooo hot. She snacked all day and didn't have more than 2 hours all up. But we kept heading for that 7pm bedtime even though she missed her arvo sleep and was up from 4pm and gripey. And like clockwork, she was ready to go down at 6.45pm again and has been asleep ever since. I struggled at first and started to panic, but then reasoned that she's survived lack of sleep before so I relaxed into it and let the tension go. Seemed to work because she wasn't unsettled at all going down to bed (which she sometimes can be at night).
I picked up some great tips (which all you experienced mummies probably already know and all you future mummies might like to bookmark somehow) like:
• don't give false hope - if you go to resettle and discover you need to change a nappy, do it in the cot.
• when you go in to resettle, look her in the eye (my MCHN told me to avoid eye contact at 'all costs' and to whisper/keep words to a minimum, or don't talk at all!!!) and use a flat, monotone voice - instead of doing a mental checklist, say it out loud, like "You're awake, it's not time to get up, it's time for sleep." Then you could check for wet through and say "you don't need changing" or "you have your dummy", etc. etc. (I think this is far more comforting for her and me than the MCHN's method!)
(I did this the first night we were home - the LGBB decided 5am was wake up time and I was up and down the hall before I woke up, was sleeping so soundly.... when I got there I put all my theory to the test and I swear, that kid dropped her wide grin so fast when I said "It's not time to get up", it was priceless. I fought the urge to squeeze those cheeks and grin right back, but it worked, dagnabbit, it darn-tootin' worked and I had to wake her at 7.30... how convincing was I?!)
• new ideas for inexpensive toys - part of Lolly's method is to be "played with hard" now. She needs to be more stimulated a few times a day so I went out on Saturday and bought some supplies for making things. She's using her feet to discover them too now as well as her hands, it's so amazing to watch.
Our dear little girl also learned how to blow raspberries on her big trip away last week, awwww! OH, and she rolled last night on her own from front to back!! And she now "helps" me put her dummy in too. If only she'd learn to let go before flinging her arms out because she takes the dummy with her more often than not.
And for anyone reading who's wondering about going now or in the future.... I've heard varying reports about different places so I really do think it must depend on the MBU/sleep school you're going to go to and how it's run. This one was very strict about "best practice" care and always within the limits or capabilities of the mother. As they put it, it's "mother-led". There were 6 of us and we were all on varied routines for various reasons. Much of my week was spent in one-on-one's with people (nurses and counsellors) while L caught up on 2 months' worth of lost sleep! Half her luck...
The freakiest thing about the entire week? *clearing throat* Bear with me. A nurse called Jenny, who I think was the 2IC and who booked me in so we'd had some dialogue over the phone, came on shift mid-week and introduced herself to me. After chatting for a bit, she said she had been working in the same NICU where Ella was when Ella was there. Not that she knew her because she went on Maternity Leave. Had her daughter, Lauren, on the day Ella passed away, within the same hour. After dicovering this about each other, we just blinked back tears and shook our heads at how lovely the symmetry was.
Howzat!?!
What I did learn was that my dear girl not feeding, therefore not sleeping properly, was almost solely directly related to my working and getting stressed and rushing, etc. Not to mention ridiculous other issues. The entire week I was there, I don't think I sped up much more than a saunter, we had 3 full meals a day and snacks in between (and I lost another 1kg despite of this, gosh darn), and Lolly certainly showed me up in terms of how worked up I obviously was. The nurses even said to me that I was already doing what they teach in there, so that leaves me with very few reasons as to why it wasn't working (namely, I wasn't feeding her enough during the day - oops! - and I was doing a bad job of hiding my anxiety about family/work). And to think I thought I could sidle on past the LGBB with a plastered-on smile and an over-rambunctious "Gooooooood mornin', Lolleeeeee!"
They now call it "responsive settling", by the way. I have my own method. I know what her full blown cry is. I also know how long it takes her to get there, having accidentally not been within earshot once or twice and come back to find the grizzles I'd walked away from had become "I'M MELTING, I'M MELTING! WHADDA WORLD, WHADDA WORLD" kind of horror-wailings.
All of this is not to say it's not all my "fault" of course, this previous pattern of night waking. Ho, no, I shan't be taking on all the blame thank-ewe very much *hair flick* But we really have ironed things out. I now have a flexible yet definite routine, which is working much better for me than the peace, love and tie-dyed harmony method of demand feeding (Lolly's not too good at counting how many hours are in a day and I mistakenly thought I should just be lopping them out on every whim of hers.... but she also can't count how many feeds she has in any given day and it turns out, given that I wasn't counting them either and had no idea, the wee sprite was not having enough). She actually lost 2oog between first and second weigh-ins, between lunchtime first day and breakfast next morning, dear Lord.... She thankfully recorded small gains every day after that. But just quietly *she says, checking behind her* I'm hopeful this is indicative of her father's speedy metabolism. So she can eat cake, mmm love a bit o' cake, and not feel too guilty.
So we've added one more feed to her day (which equates to a whole extra day over a week) and I'm massaging her nightly now which I'd become slack about. She's almost unconscious by the time we get her into bed. And we try to aim for 7pm bedtime since we came home but so far she only makes it to about 6.45pm. I then do her rollover/dream feed just before I go to bed (a very respectable 9.30 as opposed to the 10.30pm I was stupidly waiting up for every night) and we don't hear from her til after 7am every morning. This has now been her pattern for a whole week I'm relieved to say.
I got no more sleep than what I had been over the past few months in hospital though, despite this (woke every couple of hours and so did poor Steve here at home, such was his body clock remembering). But now we've both settled into much better nights' sleeps since Saturday.
I have to say, my biggest fears of having to a) lose the dummy and b) leaving her to cry (which she did do on occasion, about 3 to be exact - I can't believe I can count all the resettling we did on one hand, oh my GOD!) were not realised, as the nurses really worked with me and more importantly, within what I felt comfortable with. There were no holds barred, don't get me wrong, but I was given the straightest-shooting nurses with hard-hitting questions that got right to the heart of matters and left nothing to hide behind. It was soul food.
You know what I had the biggest issue with? After the first night, I realised it was the first time I hadn't seen her - breathing, alive, ok while she slept - on our video monitor. The parents' cheat tool! And I needed a lot of support opening that door on the first morning, I tell you. My knees were shaky, I just felt sick at the thought of (whatever, I won't go into it). But of course she was fine.
The new routine has been sorely tested today and on Saturday (when she didn't sleep for over 6hrs because we went out to a friends' 40th) but we followed the routine set by the MBU to a T - amongst which is the wise "don't worry about the past, just keep planning for the future" - and then today I was very tetchy because it was soooo hot. She snacked all day and didn't have more than 2 hours all up. But we kept heading for that 7pm bedtime even though she missed her arvo sleep and was up from 4pm and gripey. And like clockwork, she was ready to go down at 6.45pm again and has been asleep ever since. I struggled at first and started to panic, but then reasoned that she's survived lack of sleep before so I relaxed into it and let the tension go. Seemed to work because she wasn't unsettled at all going down to bed (which she sometimes can be at night).
I picked up some great tips (which all you experienced mummies probably already know and all you future mummies might like to bookmark somehow) like:
• don't give false hope - if you go to resettle and discover you need to change a nappy, do it in the cot.
• when you go in to resettle, look her in the eye (my MCHN told me to avoid eye contact at 'all costs' and to whisper/keep words to a minimum, or don't talk at all!!!) and use a flat, monotone voice - instead of doing a mental checklist, say it out loud, like "You're awake, it's not time to get up, it's time for sleep." Then you could check for wet through and say "you don't need changing" or "you have your dummy", etc. etc. (I think this is far more comforting for her and me than the MCHN's method!)
(I did this the first night we were home - the LGBB decided 5am was wake up time and I was up and down the hall before I woke up, was sleeping so soundly.... when I got there I put all my theory to the test and I swear, that kid dropped her wide grin so fast when I said "It's not time to get up", it was priceless. I fought the urge to squeeze those cheeks and grin right back, but it worked, dagnabbit, it darn-tootin' worked and I had to wake her at 7.30... how convincing was I?!)
• new ideas for inexpensive toys - part of Lolly's method is to be "played with hard" now. She needs to be more stimulated a few times a day so I went out on Saturday and bought some supplies for making things. She's using her feet to discover them too now as well as her hands, it's so amazing to watch.
Our dear little girl also learned how to blow raspberries on her big trip away last week, awwww! OH, and she rolled last night on her own from front to back!! And she now "helps" me put her dummy in too. If only she'd learn to let go before flinging her arms out because she takes the dummy with her more often than not.
And for anyone reading who's wondering about going now or in the future.... I've heard varying reports about different places so I really do think it must depend on the MBU/sleep school you're going to go to and how it's run. This one was very strict about "best practice" care and always within the limits or capabilities of the mother. As they put it, it's "mother-led". There were 6 of us and we were all on varied routines for various reasons. Much of my week was spent in one-on-one's with people (nurses and counsellors) while L caught up on 2 months' worth of lost sleep! Half her luck...
The freakiest thing about the entire week? *clearing throat* Bear with me. A nurse called Jenny, who I think was the 2IC and who booked me in so we'd had some dialogue over the phone, came on shift mid-week and introduced herself to me. After chatting for a bit, she said she had been working in the same NICU where Ella was when Ella was there. Not that she knew her because she went on Maternity Leave. Had her daughter, Lauren, on the day Ella passed away, within the same hour. After dicovering this about each other, we just blinked back tears and shook our heads at how lovely the symmetry was.
Howzat!?!
Monday, November 20, 2006
Well, this young man isn't getting the Dowry
"Hey, pretty laydeh" *shimmy-shimmy*The LGBB decides this gentleman caller is not taking her fancy.
(and my God, does she look like her mummy when she cries.....
must dig out photo evidence to prove the claim)
(and my God, does she look like her mummy when she cries.....
must dig out photo evidence to prove the claim)
Saturday, November 11, 2006
Ok, kids, who wants to see the trip-dick
WTF does that mean anyway? A trip dick? Have I got this quote from National Lampoons Vacation very very wrong?
Aaaaanyhoo, Monday marks the first day of our stay at the Mother and Baby Unit. Me and the LGBB.
I oscillate between thinking I am taking the place of someone more "worthy" and then wishing I was there right now getting anything in terms of new tips/education. I am determined to view it as a week of enlightening tips and facts and whatever I'm not already doing and think may help us, I will take on. Whatever doesn't work I simply won't do when I get home.
At this point in time, I am going to MAKE someone write on my chart that, at least initially, I refuse to be told not to attend to my baby if she is crying. I don't do that at home and I won't do it to her in a strange place. I don't believe at 4 months a baby is learning to be "spoiled" if it cries out in the middle of the night for some reassurance if nothing else.... then again, I don't know what the alternative might be. But I'll be interested to see what other suggestions they have for someone as stalwart as me.
Me and Lolly, we're a team already. I am nervous. Nervous about "breaking" her, about taking her out of an environment she's familiar with here at home, about possibly leaving behind the ONE comfort object which might soothe her.... so many to choose from, so little suitcase space.
Mustn't forget my Women's Weeklies (I have four that were delivered here over recent months, still in their plastic, such is my leisurely life) or my hair straightener. Oh and don't forget the mail and did I put the timer on the living room lights? And and and..... BYE!!
Catch up for an update after the 18th. Oh, and Lolly's photo pages have been updated! She is growing soooooo fast.
Aaaaanyhoo, Monday marks the first day of our stay at the Mother and Baby Unit. Me and the LGBB.
I oscillate between thinking I am taking the place of someone more "worthy" and then wishing I was there right now getting anything in terms of new tips/education. I am determined to view it as a week of enlightening tips and facts and whatever I'm not already doing and think may help us, I will take on. Whatever doesn't work I simply won't do when I get home.
At this point in time, I am going to MAKE someone write on my chart that, at least initially, I refuse to be told not to attend to my baby if she is crying. I don't do that at home and I won't do it to her in a strange place. I don't believe at 4 months a baby is learning to be "spoiled" if it cries out in the middle of the night for some reassurance if nothing else.... then again, I don't know what the alternative might be. But I'll be interested to see what other suggestions they have for someone as stalwart as me.
Me and Lolly, we're a team already. I am nervous. Nervous about "breaking" her, about taking her out of an environment she's familiar with here at home, about possibly leaving behind the ONE comfort object which might soothe her.... so many to choose from, so little suitcase space.
Mustn't forget my Women's Weeklies (I have four that were delivered here over recent months, still in their plastic, such is my leisurely life) or my hair straightener. Oh and don't forget the mail and did I put the timer on the living room lights? And and and..... BYE!!
Catch up for an update after the 18th. Oh, and Lolly's photo pages have been updated! She is growing soooooo fast.
Tuesday, November 07, 2006
Sunday, November 05, 2006
Who is responsible for this?
I've been thinking lately about teaching the LGBB how to spell. And when the time comes, I can't for the life of me figure out how I logically explain to her that certain rules apply for certain words.
Sure, you've got your clear-cut "i after e except before c" and how to add "ly" on the end of words, etc. But there are so many pronounciations that don't follow logic - one of these words is not like the other....
Think about it:
bough
plough
but then there's...
trough
cough
And how about:
cow
now
but we also have...
bow (as in tie)
The English language is a veritable minefield of potential slip-ups. And I thought learning Japanese must be hard because of their 23 (or is it 26?) alphabets. Nu-uh, I am sure learning English would be so much more complicated. Hats off to anyone who has to.
And that includes all the bright-eyed little kiddies out there just waiting to be swallowed up by our education system.
Sure, you've got your clear-cut "i after e except before c" and how to add "ly" on the end of words, etc. But there are so many pronounciations that don't follow logic - one of these words is not like the other....
Think about it:
bough
plough
but then there's...
trough
cough
And how about:
cow
now
but we also have...
bow (as in tie)
The English language is a veritable minefield of potential slip-ups. And I thought learning Japanese must be hard because of their 23 (or is it 26?) alphabets. Nu-uh, I am sure learning English would be so much more complicated. Hats off to anyone who has to.
And that includes all the bright-eyed little kiddies out there just waiting to be swallowed up by our education system.
Wednesday, November 01, 2006
Tuesday, October 31, 2006
Same old, same old
"Excuse me, Stewardess, I speak Jive."
I sat feeding the LGBB last night. A "dream feed" before bed, in her makeshift overnight room (our study) where she sleeps in her bassinett under the watchful gaze of a huge wall framed collage of Ella. Every photo we ever took of her, to be exact.
All the shit that goes on in daylight hours and here I was, feeding a most perfect miracle of life, looking up at my other little miracle who I'd almost lost sight of. Then over my shoulder I saw the email I received just weeks after Ella died from a client. I had hung it on the side of my filing cabinet drawer (and I also mention it in my writing about Ella on her web pages), it was so damn important to me for quite a while. I clung to the hope in that email, once upon a time.
Here I am after a weekend of what can only be described as typical crap, writing to her grandparents about LGBB as I attached some recent photos... and despite myself, I called her Ella. "Here is Ella enjoying a bath", I wrote, without a second thought. I don't even know how I had the presence of mind to look at it and think "No, that name looks wrong." It's still there, it's always going to be there, the sudden shock back to reality that one of my girls isn't here.
And all the while, the same old grey shit piles up because nobody wants to remember what we're dealing with here. Damn them for making it so unimportant that when they're dealing with me, they don't have more softness. A bit more empathy, if not understanding. I feel like a fish out of water at the moment, grasping for something (I don't know what), and all I want is some courtesy for my position. The shitful thing about it is, it's the usual suspects who, if they can't find it in them naturally, won't ever see the light. And the same wonderful (majority of, thank God for them) people who have to listen to bleats like this, confused as to how anyone can't remember something so goddamn important to a parent and have a little bit more compassion.
But then I think, my, how far we've come since 2004. And how much I've forgotten. So if I have moved on so much, I must find a way to forgive others for losing the depth of their reasoning about just how hard things might be here right now.
I sat feeding the LGBB last night. A "dream feed" before bed, in her makeshift overnight room (our study) where she sleeps in her bassinett under the watchful gaze of a huge wall framed collage of Ella. Every photo we ever took of her, to be exact.
All the shit that goes on in daylight hours and here I was, feeding a most perfect miracle of life, looking up at my other little miracle who I'd almost lost sight of. Then over my shoulder I saw the email I received just weeks after Ella died from a client. I had hung it on the side of my filing cabinet drawer (and I also mention it in my writing about Ella on her web pages), it was so damn important to me for quite a while. I clung to the hope in that email, once upon a time.
Here I am after a weekend of what can only be described as typical crap, writing to her grandparents about LGBB as I attached some recent photos... and despite myself, I called her Ella. "Here is Ella enjoying a bath", I wrote, without a second thought. I don't even know how I had the presence of mind to look at it and think "No, that name looks wrong." It's still there, it's always going to be there, the sudden shock back to reality that one of my girls isn't here.
And all the while, the same old grey shit piles up because nobody wants to remember what we're dealing with here. Damn them for making it so unimportant that when they're dealing with me, they don't have more softness. A bit more empathy, if not understanding. I feel like a fish out of water at the moment, grasping for something (I don't know what), and all I want is some courtesy for my position. The shitful thing about it is, it's the usual suspects who, if they can't find it in them naturally, won't ever see the light. And the same wonderful (majority of, thank God for them) people who have to listen to bleats like this, confused as to how anyone can't remember something so goddamn important to a parent and have a little bit more compassion.
But then I think, my, how far we've come since 2004. And how much I've forgotten. So if I have moved on so much, I must find a way to forgive others for losing the depth of their reasoning about just how hard things might be here right now.
Thursday, October 26, 2006
Signs you haven't posted to your Blog for an age
(and secondary sign that you've been hanging with the kiddies too long)
• You wonder why, when you type in the URL, you're thoroughly confused that booger.com doesn't take you to your usual control panel. Ah, that's because it be BLOGGER.com, dimwit.
*buck-toothed lazy-eyed sheepish grin*
• You wonder why, when you type in the URL, you're thoroughly confused that booger.com doesn't take you to your usual control panel. Ah, that's because it be BLOGGER.com, dimwit.
*buck-toothed lazy-eyed sheepish grin*
Thursday, October 19, 2006
*Pumps air with triumphant fist*
It took me two hours to make the 40 minute trip home from lunch with a friend yesterday.
Why?
Oh, because the shitty grizzle tones from the back seat turned into full blown "I can't believe it's not booby time" in .00949 seconds... I masterfully found a park, inner city no less, under a shady tree on a hot day, just before joining the main arterial to get us home. Jumped in the back seat next to LGBB, pulled her out of her seat and fed her. Then, I even managed to change her nappy while sitting there - our car is G.R.O.U.S.E. - by pulling down the seat next to me and laying her on the flattened back of that seat.
Amazing how feeding and cleaning up your child all of a sudden makes the stress of rushing home in heavy traffic melt away. She cooed and giggled for rest of the trip. Oh... except that moment where I thought she was choking. Thank God for our maze of mirrors setup, where I can see her from the communication mirror in the front, reflecting into her Lamaze mirror in the back. I'd have screeched across three lanes of traffic to pull over and javeline my body into the back seat if we didn't have it set up like that.
Still, a fun day was had by all. Even if the brilliant hair vanished into a puff of defiance as soon as I stepped out into the wind.
Why?
Oh, because the shitty grizzle tones from the back seat turned into full blown "I can't believe it's not booby time" in .00949 seconds... I masterfully found a park, inner city no less, under a shady tree on a hot day, just before joining the main arterial to get us home. Jumped in the back seat next to LGBB, pulled her out of her seat and fed her. Then, I even managed to change her nappy while sitting there - our car is G.R.O.U.S.E. - by pulling down the seat next to me and laying her on the flattened back of that seat.
Amazing how feeding and cleaning up your child all of a sudden makes the stress of rushing home in heavy traffic melt away. She cooed and giggled for rest of the trip. Oh... except that moment where I thought she was choking. Thank God for our maze of mirrors setup, where I can see her from the communication mirror in the front, reflecting into her Lamaze mirror in the back. I'd have screeched across three lanes of traffic to pull over and javeline my body into the back seat if we didn't have it set up like that.
Still, a fun day was had by all. Even if the brilliant hair vanished into a puff of defiance as soon as I stepped out into the wind.
Wednesday, October 18, 2006
It's a great day
Putting my hair back into my now signature twist and clip (a. because it's the easiest and b. I can hide all the scariness of my thick mane in that style), the front bits of my fringe fell out of my grip. I was in a rush. Bugger, I thought, as I worked with hands behind head, Now I'll have to pin all that somehow at the sides.
But when I lifted my head to look at the damage in the mirror.... it was perfect. It had fallen around my face perfectly. So I did what any girl would do: I kept my head and neck level and edged ever so delicately towards the hairspray, using my eyes to guide my outstretched arm. Popped the lid off the can gently so as not to disturb a perfect hair.
And sprayed the shit out of it.
Ah haaaa. The perfect fall-about-face-fringe bits. Captured!
But when I lifted my head to look at the damage in the mirror.... it was perfect. It had fallen around my face perfectly. So I did what any girl would do: I kept my head and neck level and edged ever so delicately towards the hairspray, using my eyes to guide my outstretched arm. Popped the lid off the can gently so as not to disturb a perfect hair.
And sprayed the shit out of it.
Ah haaaa. The perfect fall-about-face-fringe bits. Captured!
Monday, October 16, 2006
It's alright, it's ok, you're gonna pump my gas someday
We're cheerleaders! Cheer! Cheer! Cheerleaders! WOO!
When it's all going to shit, there's nothing like footage of people hurting themselves whilst taking their craft so seriously to make your life seem better.
When it's all going to shit, there's nothing like footage of people hurting themselves whilst taking their craft so seriously to make your life seem better.
Is that a banana or are you just happy to see me?
I should really get a Freudian analysis done on my brain before I give credit to the illustrator of this book for having a tongue-in-cheek joke with parents.
Sunday, October 15, 2006
Ouch
I swear.
I wasn't trying to make her look ergly. It's just where I paused.
I like Tyra Banks! I think she's ..... harmless. But maybe, going by this photo, she ought to practice what she preaches on that America's Next Top Model show. I do believe, when I paused this frame, she was reiterating to the contestants how important it was to carry themselves properly at all times and not risk being snapped at a bad or unfortunate angle.
How unfortunate.
I wasn't trying to make her look ergly. It's just where I paused.
I like Tyra Banks! I think she's ..... harmless. But maybe, going by this photo, she ought to practice what she preaches on that America's Next Top Model show. I do believe, when I paused this frame, she was reiterating to the contestants how important it was to carry themselves properly at all times and not risk being snapped at a bad or unfortunate angle.
How unfortunate.
Saturday, October 14, 2006
The Farcuwindow
Our new car has a special feature I was previously not aware of. It's not in any of the manuals. And you won't find it under the hood. Steve has been privy to this feature for a while now and as he explained to me the other week, it's quite a handy little device to have. Apparently, the car has a Farcuwindow. And the manufacturers weren't aware of what they'd included when they designed it because it's not any manual.
To see the Farcuwindow in use impressed me because I never knew it was there and here I'd been driving the Renault now for months. I can't say I'll be using it though. But Steve uses it a fair bit.
It's put to best use on occasions when he's been driving along with someone close behind. If that driver tailgates and then darts out to pass on our driver side, the Farcuwindow (which is a little triangular window near the driver side mirror) gets activated and magically, Steve's middle finger is raised in it. Amazing! It has varying occasions for use, including hoons flying past breaking the speed limit, but the output is consistent. No other fingers are used. No fists shaking. Just the flipping of the bird.
Perhaps the most ingenious thing about this Farcuwindow though is that it's so discreet. Nobody knows Steve's using it! He can subtlely centre all his road rage into the Farcuwindow and it takes care of the rest. So it's safe as well as fun!
The High Folutin
The Casual "Oh yeah?"
The "Take THAT, tool"
To see the Farcuwindow in use impressed me because I never knew it was there and here I'd been driving the Renault now for months. I can't say I'll be using it though. But Steve uses it a fair bit.
It's put to best use on occasions when he's been driving along with someone close behind. If that driver tailgates and then darts out to pass on our driver side, the Farcuwindow (which is a little triangular window near the driver side mirror) gets activated and magically, Steve's middle finger is raised in it. Amazing! It has varying occasions for use, including hoons flying past breaking the speed limit, but the output is consistent. No other fingers are used. No fists shaking. Just the flipping of the bird.
Perhaps the most ingenious thing about this Farcuwindow though is that it's so discreet. Nobody knows Steve's using it! He can subtlely centre all his road rage into the Farcuwindow and it takes care of the rest. So it's safe as well as fun!
The High Folutin
The Casual "Oh yeah?"
The "Take THAT, tool"
Friday, October 13, 2006
Thursday, October 12, 2006
A question on Geography
Watching America's Next Top Model tonight. There was a discussion about a photographer who said he was born in Sri Lanka and was half Sri Lankan, half English. Then his mother came on and she said was born and had lived in Bombay, now called Mumbai all her life, etc.
Cue a puzzled look from yours truly, Geographer Extraordinnaire. I don't know why I think Steve has all the answers. Like he was there.
"Isn't Bombay in India? He said he was Sri Lankan. How can he be Sri Lankan if his mum's Indian?"
"No, she said she was born in Bombay."
*forgetting the bit about Mumbai* "But Bombay's in India.... isn't it? Is Sri Lanka in India now?"
"No. Sri Lanka's a country. Maybe there's a Bombay in Sri Lanka too."
"So.... what? They just renamed it?"
"Yeah. *donning shocking accent and holding two-way conversation between imaginary characters of Indian descent* 'Hey! I live in Bombay!' ('You live in Bombay? I live in Bombay!') 'Yeah, Main Street, Bombay.' ('I live in Main Street Bombay too!') 'Number 7.' ('You number 7, Main Street, Bombay? Me too!')
"And that's... why they changed it, is it?"
*decisively* "Yuh-huh."
So apparently to save confusion over the two people who lived at 7 Main Street, Bombay, that's why the Sri Lankan Bombay is now called Mumbai.
Cue a puzzled look from yours truly, Geographer Extraordinnaire. I don't know why I think Steve has all the answers. Like he was there.
"Isn't Bombay in India? He said he was Sri Lankan. How can he be Sri Lankan if his mum's Indian?"
"No, she said she was born in Bombay."
*forgetting the bit about Mumbai* "But Bombay's in India.... isn't it? Is Sri Lanka in India now?"
"No. Sri Lanka's a country. Maybe there's a Bombay in Sri Lanka too."
"So.... what? They just renamed it?"
"Yeah. *donning shocking accent and holding two-way conversation between imaginary characters of Indian descent* 'Hey! I live in Bombay!' ('You live in Bombay? I live in Bombay!') 'Yeah, Main Street, Bombay.' ('I live in Main Street Bombay too!') 'Number 7.' ('You number 7, Main Street, Bombay? Me too!')
"And that's... why they changed it, is it?"
*decisively* "Yuh-huh."
So apparently to save confusion over the two people who lived at 7 Main Street, Bombay, that's why the Sri Lankan Bombay is now called Mumbai.
Wednesday, October 11, 2006
Throwing down my hanky as a challenge
I love to sing. Sing, sing, sing. Sometimes I boldly sing completely the wrong words. Your mission, dear reader, if you choose to accept it, is to:
a) Name the song title
b) Provide the correct lyrics to the line/s I have misheard (sometimes for years, oh the shame of it all).
Should be pretty darn easy, I've given the artist already. Ok, here we go:
"Lima beans, I promise I will eat..." - Sheryl Crow
(this one's actually Steve's misheard lyric but it's funny so I thought I'd chuck it in)
"Nino's little son's a wanker" - Oasis
(seriously. In fact, I still don't believe he's singing anything else. I was shocked but not surprised the Gallagher brothers would come up with such a song but thought 'there goes the youth of today' when I heard them play it on the radio in the 90's...)
"I know a place where we can dance the whole night away underneath electric stars, Just come with me and we can shake your boobs right away, You'll be doin fine once the music starts...Oh!" - De Barge
(one of the two first ever record singles - yes, record, as in vinyl - I ever owned. But I was intrigued by what these older people did underneath electric stars... did they really shake their boobs? Were they bare-chested when they shook them? I'd seen Countdown, I knew there was some pretty wild shimmying to be had in the 80's, and it was all a little bit naughty and titillating so as far as I knew, a bluelight disco was where bawdy, nekid, teenage debauchery took place - teenagers who seemed soooo much older to me when I was 11)
"Listen to some music, maybe just cocaine, I'd love to know you better" - ABBA
(I confess, as a child, to thinking this lyric might very well have to force me to stop listening to ABBA, such was my moral standard of the time. I was very disappointed in my beloved ABBA for singing about drugs and didn't want to believe Agnetha was snorting lines - how I knew what cocaine was at age 9 or 10 is another question)
"Well I flufter every under-confidence I have and hit my ball into the water" - Teddy Geiger
(I supposed a 'flufter' was a new word meaning "to fudge/stuff up" - so someone who stuffs up their under-confidence has got to be one sad, sorry loser)
There have been so many more. I might have to make this a To Be Continued... post so I can add more if I remember them later. It should also be said that once I discovered the actual words to these songs, they didn't come quickly to me as I was singing along, so ingrained were the ones I'd been incorrectly singing. So usually it led me to pretend to see a piece of lint on my sleeve that needed picking, thereby causing a distracted-sounding trail-off, or choosing that moment to take a sip of a drink, or otherwise looking deep in concentration about something else - anything to avoid the gap in the song that was now there.
So. Who's up for the challenge?
a) Name the song title
b) Provide the correct lyrics to the line/s I have misheard (sometimes for years, oh the shame of it all).
Should be pretty darn easy, I've given the artist already. Ok, here we go:
"Lima beans, I promise I will eat..." - Sheryl Crow
(this one's actually Steve's misheard lyric but it's funny so I thought I'd chuck it in)
"Nino's little son's a wanker" - Oasis
(seriously. In fact, I still don't believe he's singing anything else. I was shocked but not surprised the Gallagher brothers would come up with such a song but thought 'there goes the youth of today' when I heard them play it on the radio in the 90's...)
"I know a place where we can dance the whole night away underneath electric stars, Just come with me and we can shake your boobs right away, You'll be doin fine once the music starts...Oh!" - De Barge
(one of the two first ever record singles - yes, record, as in vinyl - I ever owned. But I was intrigued by what these older people did underneath electric stars... did they really shake their boobs? Were they bare-chested when they shook them? I'd seen Countdown, I knew there was some pretty wild shimmying to be had in the 80's, and it was all a little bit naughty and titillating so as far as I knew, a bluelight disco was where bawdy, nekid, teenage debauchery took place - teenagers who seemed soooo much older to me when I was 11)
"Listen to some music, maybe just cocaine, I'd love to know you better" - ABBA
(I confess, as a child, to thinking this lyric might very well have to force me to stop listening to ABBA, such was my moral standard of the time. I was very disappointed in my beloved ABBA for singing about drugs and didn't want to believe Agnetha was snorting lines - how I knew what cocaine was at age 9 or 10 is another question)
"Well I flufter every under-confidence I have and hit my ball into the water" - Teddy Geiger
(I supposed a 'flufter' was a new word meaning "to fudge/stuff up" - so someone who stuffs up their under-confidence has got to be one sad, sorry loser)
There have been so many more. I might have to make this a To Be Continued... post so I can add more if I remember them later. It should also be said that once I discovered the actual words to these songs, they didn't come quickly to me as I was singing along, so ingrained were the ones I'd been incorrectly singing. So usually it led me to pretend to see a piece of lint on my sleeve that needed picking, thereby causing a distracted-sounding trail-off, or choosing that moment to take a sip of a drink, or otherwise looking deep in concentration about something else - anything to avoid the gap in the song that was now there.
So. Who's up for the challenge?
Tuesday, October 10, 2006
.....But seriously....
I don't think I can play with you anymore, Mummeh. I'm out of your league now I'm three months old.
Damn, I'm funny! See what I did there? Co-ma-dy! I love to laugh, especially when you have no idea what the joke is.
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